you can have it, if you want it.

I'm 17.
I can't wait to be 18.
I miss people too easily.
I'm oversensitive.
I trust people far to easy.
Some of my closest friends now live far away.
I haven't had a friend that I've known forever.
I'd rather have the CD then download.
I like to write.
I hate watching too much TV.
I read way to much.
I could easily get stuck in a good book.
I like to walk on my own with my ipod in.
I like all music.
I get too involved when watching films.
I like to believe in God and Heaven.
I've only just decided to put all my teddies away.
I'm growing up fast.
I want to get married someday.
I have come to terms with the fact I may never get my father-daughter dance.
I feel incomplete not knowing my entire family.
I keep thinking I'm not good enough.
I prefer to keep my feelings to myself.
I change moods way to much.
I think everyone needs a good cry every now and again.
I get bored really easily.
I keep the texts I really like.
I have got more and more close to my brother.
I don't no what I would do if I lost any of my family.
I miss my friends back home more then I let on.
I like big theme park rides.
I love going to the zoo.
I hate that I don't draw anymore.
I hate that I read less and less each day.
I use to hate public toilets.
I love chicken.
I don't use correct grammar all of the time.
I use to play the guitar.
I use to go to air cadets.
I use to go to swimming with my mum.
I dislike that I don't as much as I use to.
I believe anyone can fall in love at any age.
I have naturally brown hair all over.
I quite like my freckles.
I most like my eyes.
If I could change one thing it would be my legs.
I would like to change my last name.
I can't stand mess.
I have strong opinions about everything.
I've always wanted a tree house.
I can't balance but I'm a good climber.
I hate heights.
I hate liars.
I wish on everything, the first star I see, birthday cakes, when the clock hits 11:11.


Look deeper, you never know what you might find.

but this isn't real life.

Do you ever get that feeling of wanting to be held?

Sitting at home and just having that feeling of wanting to be with someone.

I like hugging people.

It's the best when you actually have that someone to sit around with.

Someone to talk utter crap to.

Mind, of course you have to remember I don't really like being on my own.

But there are those times when I enjoy having the house to myself and able to do what ever.

I think you need that.

A nice healthy balance between too much and not enough.

Have too much of a good thing and it becomes normal.

But not enough and you'll crave more.

Because face it, I wouldn't want anyone but you.

i know how this exactly will end.

I like to do things for myself.

From this I get a sense of individuality and know I can look after myself.

However, I do always like to ask people for help.

Like when I'm at work and somethings too heavy, I have no problem asking someone to lift it for me.

I think that's a good thing, don't you?

I mean imagine, having to do everything for yourself?

Having no confidence to simply go up to someone and ask them to do a simple thing for you?

Okay now and again you may get the complete twat who will turn around and laugh in our face.

But 9 times out of 10 you can always find someone who's really lovely.

For the past few years, my mum and mark have done allot for me.

We use to go out and I wouldn't even be able to ask someone for some sauce or something stupid like that.

It was always them running around doing everything for me.

And for that I appreciate them.

I really do.

Moving up here has given me the confidence I needed to go out on my own two feet.

And that sounds really lame doesn't it?

Bet your all thinking, Oh I've heard that one before..

But seriously, I feel so much better when I walk out of my house now.

It's a mystery.

And I like it.

Quit freaking out.

I never liked that bit.

Life is full of 'what ifs'

Never have I known this too be so true.

Until now.

I keep going over and over in my head what if this..

What if that..?

I didn't believe i was amazing, until you told me.

lie down with me and watch the clouds pass by.

Do you ever get that feeling that your just not quite good enough?

Sucks right?

Always ending up thinking the worse and it's horrible!

I don't want to have these thoughts in my head thank you very much.

Deep down I know what the truth really is and it's not what I think on the top.

But those thoughts on top are always there.

The little voice in the back of your head, so to speak.

I know their will always be someone who is;

Prettier then me

Uglier then me

More Successful then me

Less successful then me

Taller then me

Shorter then me

More out going then me.

Quieter then me

Brighter then me

Stupider then me.

That's the way life goes.

I'm extremely happy with what and who is in my life right now.

Yes it could be better,

Everyones could.

But it could be a lot worse.

I guess I'm just, I suppose afraid of rejection and let down.

I hate it when people let people down.

If you say you will do something then do it!

Because by the time you do, it might be a moment too late.

Catch them before their gone.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to come.

do you remember?

It's funny the things your mind chooses to remember and the things it chooses to forget.

It might have been two weeks ago, you remember the day so well. You were wearing your favorite top, they were in their new shoes.

You stayed up till late talking about anything and everything. It was perfect.

But you forgot the argument you had with someone else that very morning.

But that's a good thing isn't it?

Why would you want to remember an argument?

However, I'm not too sure if that's a good thing or not.

Because you can learn from this mistake.

If you've forgotten about it, what does that mean?

That your willing to give up on something as easy as that?

That you don't care?

Sometimes this might well be the case.

No one deserves to be treated diffrent from anyone else around you.

Why should you get to make them feel like crap?

So what they did it to you first.

We aren't 5 anymore.

Grow up and see that they aren't worth it.

Get over it and move on.

You could be so much more then them.

I'd much rather a kitkat.

can you see me?

So it's been a while now.

Not technically of course.

But in the way that I haven't spent time with just you.

I actually miss you.

lets stay in with a movie and pizza.

I'm feeling alot better about myself recently.

I can openly say i've never been to the gym.

Alot of people here have been atleast once in their life.

And well id much rather go out and walk then run in a room with a bunch of people watching.

Plus anyway, with my memory i'd proberly forget to go!

Because lets be honest, i struggle to remeber what day of the week it is sometimes. :P

I hate running.

Can't stand it!

I'm not exactly the strongest either.

But that i don't mind really.

I know i'm healthy and i'm happy with that.

And if i'm happy, why should i change to suit you?

Someone will like me just the way i am.

everyone needs insparation.

I am nothing special

I am just a common person with common thoughts.

I've led a pretty common life.

There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will one day be forgotten.

But in one way, I will have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who has ever lived.

I will have loved another with all my heart and soul,

and to me, this has always been enough.

Knowing one day I will feel so unbelievably connected with another and spend the rest of my life with them,

That thought alone is better then anything I'd rather do.

Whats the point in becoming someone powerful, or famous, or rich if your all alone?

It's never broken.

Give me fantasy over reality anyday.

I thought this week was going to be quite boring.

3 weeks off college?

Not that i'm complaining, but there is only so much you can do around here when you don't have a car, limited amount of money and under 18.

But I think i've made the most of what i've got.

Not one day has been spent in my house as of yet.

Take Tuesday for example.

I got up early and jumped on the 8.25 train to Bristol.

40 minuets and £7.40 down, I had arrived.

Now, the ones who know me will know i'm not exactly the best at geography..

But I felt it was about time I started to find my own feet.

Rather then relying on other people all the time.

I got a real sense of achievement from it.

Okay I had a little help from my mum on the end of the telephone when I first arrived there to help me get to the Cabot Circus.

But that's acceptable isn't it ?

I bought some really nice things recently.

And I know this is a true fact as even Mark has said I looked pretty in my new clothes.

Which is the boost I need.

Everyone needs it really don't they.

Sometimes I just need to be reassured that i'm not some munter mooching around.

Know for sure, that I will never let you go.

Lets dance till dawn.

I don't have that much to say today to be quite honest.

It's been pretty adverage today, went to work came home blah blah blah.

Was nice in work though. I always think before I go 'oh I can't be botherd' and 'ugh work..' but when i'm there it's not too bad. I suppose it's because of the people there.

However I am getting a bit fed up with the amount of guys and even old guys who come in and hit on me. What do they think I am going to do? Turn around and say 'oh you are the one! I want to be with you forever and we can run away and elope!' Uhhhhhhh... no.

I'd rather just smile and tell them were to shove it. I've got mine thanks.

I don't need them and their proposals thank you very much!

I would rather him any day.

All and who I need and want, I already have and i'm really quite happy about it.

I plan on keeping it that way.

Take my hand in yours and we can run away into the sunset.

You make me happy.

I seem to be people watching alot more recently.
When i'm in work it's easier because i'm stood there all day and some of the people I see..
Don't even go there. How some people can leave the house looking like that. So you may think ''I don't care what people think about me'' but deep down you must care a little bit?
I suppose the only thing that I reeeeally cannot stand about peoples apperance is their teeth.
I've talked to some people who've had no front teeth or there all black and broken. Seriously, it must hurt right? Not only that but you could be the beautifulest person around then.. It's just unattractive?
Is it so hard to pick up a toothbrush once in a while? How can someones teeth get so bad that they crack and end up sideways? It's not a pet hate though is it? Pet hates are things that people do that your not too fond of.
I don't have many pet hates I don't think. If I like you then i'l put up with pretty much any way that you act or anything you do. But when people squeeze my toothpaste in the middle that annoys me a little. Who even does that? It's my toothpaste, no one else uses it so how does it end up getting squeezed in the middle??
Sometimes don't you just wish ou could have the stars? I like looking at the stars. Amazing things they are, millions of miles away. I can't wait till the summer when you can just laze around outside with our friends and just look at them in the evenings. That makes sense right?
I also wish I was more careful with my emotions and stop handing them out willynilly. But when I like someone I like to let them know that.
It's easier to keep in that you don't like someone then it is to keep in that you like someone. Because everyone knows some of those people don't they?
The ones you get along with and are really good friends but you wouldn't call them out of choice. I sppose that seems a bit harsh and I don't mean it in that way.. It's just the easiest way to put it in as less words as possible. Then when you like someone, it's like you shine when our with that person. They bring out the best in you and make you feel good.

I feel I could stay right here forever, sitting beside you.

No one belongs here more then you.

I love shopping. Fact.
Why I feel the need to buy more and more things I will never know.
It's more of a materialistic thing isn't it I suppose.
I have a fear that one day I will be left all alone by myself in this big huge world.
This, I never want to happen.
Therefore I surround myself by people and things.
Ino my stuff will never leave me, because it physicaly can't go anywere unless I move it.
But you know that with actual people, one bad move and their potentialy gone forever.

Never leave me.