You are the only exception.

I'm not a fan off being home all day. Unless i'm like really tired. I'd rather go out and do something. Anything. Rather then sitting here bored out of my mind. I've watched all I wanted on the tele.., read my magazines.., Ect ect..
Lets just go out somewere!
Everyone should live right next too each other. It would be soo much easier that way. No more need for lifts to places or silly public transport. You could just walk out of your house, down the street and meet whoever you wanted to in minets. Ofcourse there are so many people in the world I understand this would be a little bit difficult. But the people I want to see should be within an easier reaching distant.
If I stay in everyday for the next three weeks of the holidays, I will go insane. Fact.
I don't like asking people to go places. One, because I would prefer them to ask me so I know they want to spend time with me, not just because I asked them too. Two, because if I ask to go out it normal means I pick were to go. And I still don't know everywere in Cheltenham.

I want to stay up late with you just talking about random nonsene.

The world is not enough.

So you've met the 'rents. Geeeez. It had to be a night my mum decides to get drunk wasn't it. Hahaa.
Lewis should be up soon! That'l be good. Havn't seen him scince.... Whenever it was. But still. Show him around Cheltenham. Not that I didn't do that last time he came up. But I suppose I know more places now.
I'm glad for these next three weeks off college. Really could do with a break. Spend time with people, sleep all day and party all night!
Well thats the plan at least. What it will proberly end up with is sleep, work on the weekends, see as many people I can everyday!
There are no were to have parties anymore. Not till your 18! So my birthday best hurry up.
I've been daydreaming alot recently. I don't mean to do it, it sort of just happens. They are lovely daydreams.
One day I will be able to drive properly. And when that day comes I will be out driving!
Not that I don't mind the bus or train.. But driving yourself around must be so much easier wouldn't it?
More expensive though. I best start saving!
I have started to save. It was ment for a nice holiday away in August. Problem is my mother won't let me go by myself. Only with another girl. Not even by myself with a guy. Because they might 'rape' me. tuut. So not true. I would like to go away. Maybe i'l go to London for a night and watch a show. Surley I will be aloud there by myself or with a guy? Because none of the other girls have enough money and those who do don't have the time. :P It's so complicated.
I would just like a nice little holiday. With anyone as long as they make me laugh and smile.

Your about as english as crumpets and tea on the lawn.

excuse me, your ties undone.

It's getting to the stage that theres not much to do around here anymore.
I wish it would hurry up, stop raining and get nice already.
Then we can just go out anywere, whereever we want.
The cinema gets boring, bowlings to far away.
Mind i'm not that hard to please. If it means spending time with you i'd go almost anywere. All you have to do is ask.
I like to be told how people feel about me. Call me an old romantic but I belive romance isn't dead! I love hugs. If your a good hugger please find me.
There are those days when your sat at home watching t.v and all you want is someone to have a cwtch with.
One thing I cannot stand is people lieing to me. At the end of the day, people talk. If you tell someone something they are going to find out the truth eventualy. It's not like we will think any less of you ether way. We don't ask you to tell us these things you choose to.
You need to see that if you feel you need to lie to us to get our approval then you need to think again. These lies are making you lose friends can you not see that??
You need to sit down and think about what you really want. Think fast before you lose us all.

I just want to spend time with you.

love is a game for two.

Games can be fun. They can be exceptional, terrifying and magical all at the same time. It just depends how fair you play the game. Play by the rules and you could find yourself playing the best game you could ever imagine.
Thats what i'm doing. As long as i can keep playing it with you. Love can be impulsive and insane. You can look across a crowded room and find them without realising.

Don't stop beliving.

never take a blind date to a silent film.

Everytime I come home I sit here in my room thinking i'm bored, theres nothing to do, blah blah blah.
Truth is, theres proberly plenty I could be getting on with. But you know that feeling when you've been doing work all day, why would I want to come home and do more work? I really should be starting to read that highway code book i've got. My mum and Mark refuse to take me out driving until i've started to learn it. So it's for my own good but it's just bare effort!
I suppose it's the least I cold do for them. They give me so much more then I think I personaly deserve. Apparntly I don't have a very good attitude. But thats not my fault if people annoy me.
But I am thankful for the stuff they do for me.
I've gone to bed pretty early most night this week. It's a bit depressing actualy. :P
I'd rather be out and about. Mind I havn't had a decent lie-in in soo long!
Not out of choice though ofcourse. SOMEONE keeps texting me at silly hours in the morning because he thinks he's so funny. Just because he goes to college everyday and I don't doesn't mean I have to wake up at the same time. If I didn't like him so much I would have kicked him by now. ;)
I want my hair a bit longer again! I'm fed up with this shortness now. The purple has gone out too! I'm not happy. I will have it done again soon. I might go a bit darker or maybe a reddy brown. Could be nice. Some days I really like my hair and others it just doesn't seem to want to do what I want it too do. I don't understand why not. It's the same hair. Nothings changed about it. So it should go the same way I like it all the time. How easy would that make it when your getting ready?
I'm getting pretty good at getting ready nower days. It use to take me like two or three hours. And that every morning gets tiring!
Now if i'm in a rush I can get ready in half hour. Shower and everything. But i'm not one to rush. I'd rather take my time and ponder. So it takes me about an hour anda half, give or take.
So it's not bad really.

Take my hand, we'l conquor the world together.

a sea of hearts is never enough.

So this weeks been pretty good actualy!
And we'r only half way through. Things are looking up.
I havn't heard from my father in a few days.
I'm still unsure what I think about all this cuffuffle and about if I will ever see him in person.
Because common, last time I saw him I would have been what? Like younger then 2.. maybe 1?
Then nothing for 16 years until just recently. All thanks too my mum finding his sister (my auntie) on good old facebook! I'm really glad that she did too because from that i've found out i've got another two cousins who are lovely.
But back to my dad. It seems weird to call him dad when he wasn't there when I was growing up. Seems like he's cheated a bit. My mum's been there having too put up with me whilst he swans back into my life once it's all over and i've started to grow up. Maybe it was just a coincidence who knows? But if he really wanted to meet me or my brother, surely he could have found us some how? Not like we've been hiding or anything. He knows were my nan lives.
He's asked too meet me and i'm still on the fence about it. My brother has made it lear he doesn't want to see him or anything so it'l be something i'l have to do on my own.
My mum asks me how I feel about it and if I would want to meet him.
How should I feel exactly?
Shocked?
I always knew this moment would come someday.
Curious?
A little.
It's like i'm split in two.
One half of me is saying, why should I? I've managed this far without him. Surely I can go the rest without him?
But then as always theres the other part of me which feels the need to see him. Just to know what he's like. Hear his side of the story. I would like to know all of my family. You could go as far as saying it's a little bit incomplete without a father figure.
Sure I had my ex step-dad. But I always knew he wasn't my real father. It's just not the same isit? I think everyone should know who their real parents are.
Some people don't even get one parent.
Maybe one day when the oppertunity arises I may find out what my father looks like and what he sounds like.

My life would be incomplete without you.

never learn not to love.

New day!
It's starting to get nicer, a little brighter and sunnier.
Spring is nearly here!
Lots of layers are no longer needed. Well, maybe just for a little bit longer.
Still a bit chilly, but gives you an excuse to hug people!
I finaly got my room about the wayish I like it. Taken it's time but I got there in the end.
I can be quite picky about my room and i'm not sure if thats a good thing or not..
Because I could quite happily go downstairs and make a mess, but in my room if it ends up messy theres only so much I can cope with. It's a bit strange really isn't it?
On the rare occasions i'm home nowerdays you can normaly find me in my room.
When i'm not in college i'm working, and when i'm not in work i'm out!
Last weekend was a pretty good weekend.
Got to spend time with him which was a bonus.
You know that feeling you get when your standing at the door of an aeroplane about to jump out? No, I don't ither. But I can imagine it and thats the feeling I get. :)
He makes me happy and smile when i'm bored or lonely. I like spending time with him even if it's a half seven in the morning on the way to college.
It was a nice day which i'd happily replay over and over. Apart from the whole working part before it.
Not that I can't be botherd to work.. it's just 3 days of it a week. Really?
Can't we just work for like two days and get paid lots? But then I suppose that would be too easy wouldn't it?
I'm not even sure who reads my blogs anymore. When I started I knew it was one or two people reading so I didn't think too much into what I was writing. But people keep telling me how they've read them and even my mum has! Geez.
So I need to forget about who's reading and just write what I think from now on!
Hopefully it'l turn out to be a more intreasting read for all you nosey people out there. ;)

Runaway with me, let's make our own fairytale.

you created this smile.

Sooooo. Think from my last blog about giving up on romance, I will have to take that back! I like like like him so it's nice. :)
I don't really want to go on too much because I could. I'd end up sounding all sopy and gay.
So all I will say is I'm glad he asked.
And add that i'm happy!
Blah blah blah!
Works a bit lame at the moment. You know when you get that feeling were you can't be botherd to do anything and would like to stay in bed all day?
Well i'm getting that feeling every day.
I think I need to catch up on some sleep!
But we all know that won't happen till friday. Having college nine till four baiscaly everyday is a killer!
Fair enough we only go in for three days, but those three days! Tiring man!
Started driving. Three lessons so far, I can finaly turn left the right way !
I get put off sometimes tho and easily distracted by people on the pavment.
Like today. Was totaly his fault! If I hadn't had seen him I wouldn't have mucked up. ;)
I really need to get back down to my home sometime soon!
I miss my family!
I can't remeber the last time I saw my nan.
When you move away you say to everyonme you will keep in touch and visit every so often. But iv'e found out that in reality, thats not true. People move on, time runs out and you find yourself becoming less and less close.
It's quite sad when you thik about it but something good always comes out of something bad.
And it has. My life is very good at the moment! I love it !

I really like you, lets not mess this one up :)

no image avalible.

Maybe I am going to give up on romance just for the time being. Not that I want to. It's just I don't seem to be getting anywere. I'm to I suppose afraid (is afraid the right word?) to tell people how I feel. The fear of regection and getting shunned down is too great in my mind. I know I shouldn't care but I do. I think highley of every single person I know.
The thing is, even though others around me may talk and discuss each other, i'm just as bad. I join in and share my opinon on that person over there or maybe even you once in a while. Excpet deep down, actualy not even deep down. On topof everything I think every person I know is amazing. They really can do anything if they put their minds to it and I admire them for that.
I think I have enough confidence. Certinaly more then I had last year thats for sure.
But self confidence is were I lose it a little. I hope what other people think of me isn't as bad as I think it must be.
The main thing i've learnt living here is not everyone is what they seem at first glance. You have to take time to look at them deeper. That person who seems cocky and confident is actualy sweet and kind. The one over there who doesn't say very much has a strong opinion on everything.
Basical what i'm saying is hopefully over time i'l learn to love myself more and try and accept peoples own vies of me. Not that I know what they are.
Do I even want to know tho?
I'd hate to be the fly on the wall when people are talking about me. But then maybe I shouldn't think that way?
What if they really say nice things about me and he feels the same way I do?
I'l never know if I keep it all locked up too myself.


Maybe one day i'l share my secrets with you.